Just One of Those Days

You know the days I'm talking about. First you wake up with no sunlight because a bunch of little dicked business man having mid life crises went out bought a Hummer which in turn polluted our air and now it rains every fucking day. Then you get a wake up call from your mother at 10:30 am cause she was bored at work and wanted to talk. Our conversation went something like this:

AristocraCity: Helloooo
Mom: Oh (as if shocked), your still sleeping
AristocraCity: was it that obvious, noooo I've been up for hours
Mom: just wanted to see what's up? Brother got an email from Penn State, decision was mailed yesterday.
AristocraCity: To answer you first question the only thing up right now is the ceiling, and you called to tell me it was in the mail. That's the equivalent of a cock tease.
Mom: Sorry I woke you go back to sleep.

Now that I was awake, figured maybe I'd take a shower. If you thought you heard the sound of a dog being run over around 11 am. That was me when nothing but cold water came rushing down on me. Showering in the rain would have been warmer. An inauspicious start to the day. Had a standing gym date at 12 pm so I got ready to leave. I have a little routine I perform at my door before leaving. It's money, keys, wallet, phone, set to the music of cent, 5 cent, 10 cent, dollar. Dollar Dollar Dollar. Problem was wallet was missing. So began the mad scramble to find the wallet. It was under the bed. Don't ask me how, it just was.

Now running 10 minutes late, and inwardly annoyed I headed out in the rain. Fucking rain. Nothing bad to report about the gym and I was listening to my iPod so the music was Jive (literally and figuratively). Left the gym and headed for the subway. As I got to the turnstile the subway doors were already open so I began a quick walk. Carefully swiped my card and then proceeded to walk nether region first right into the non moving turnstile. Ouch. Maybe I wasn't careful enough. Doors were still open did it again. Same result nether region pain. Fucking turnstile was not accepting tokens or cards today. Why even bother saying no tokens. We got that message loud and clear last year. Moved to a different turnstile and missed the train. While wallowing in my bodily discomfort, my boo came on. So I couldn't even enjoy my wallowing cause I love that goddam song.

Back on the upper east side. I dropped my glove while crossing Third Avenue smack dap in the middle. I looked like a dear in headlights as the Taxi 500 was about to start. Obviously, I got out of the way. The next question is do I tempt fate. The no hot water sign is gone and since I began sweating profusely while typing this it means the heaters are on. Dare I try and take another shower. If you hear a Marissa (from the OC) like animalian scream I got burned again or should I say chilled.

All this and not even 3 pm. Still got at least 12 hours left in day based on my inability to sleep.