Strong Armed at the Urinal

So last night I attended a VDay NYC Benefit. It was open bar. If you have to ask, you don't know me well enough. Of course I was intoxicated and had to cut myself off. Red Bull and Hypnotiq were sponsors. I love Red Bull, it gives you wings and Hynotiq well it just tastes so, actually I have no idea how it tastes I drank it so fast. Naturally, I broke the seal at somepoint during the night and after that I could have been mistaken for one of those peeing fountains. Well on my last trip to the men's room I was strong armed at the urinal. The bathroom attendant sensing he had the upper hand in negotiations being that he controlled the soap, sinks and paper towels spied my LiveStrong bracelet. Here is the transcript of the ensuing conversation:

Bathroom Attendant: Where did you get that?
AristocraCity: I ordered it on the Internet.
Bathroom Attendant: Can I have it?
AristocraCity: Umm, are you serious?
Bathroom Attendant: I don't have Internet and I'm going back to Africa next week and want to show my family this bracelet.
AristocraCity: I don't have anymore, this is my last one.
Bathroom Attendant: How much is it?
AristocraCity: They cost a dollar, it's not about the money, I just don't have another one.
Bathroom Attendant: You were going to give me dollar tip anyway and you have the internet and can order another one.
(Soap has yet to be dispensed to me and thus can't wash hands and leave)
AristocraCity: Your tribe in Africa better love this goddam bracelet, here you go.

AristocraCity is rather certain that has never happened to anyone else, ever. Who gets accosted in the man's bathroom by the attendant who is in hot pursuit of a LiveStrong bracelet. This was no random mugging either. He did his homework. He knew to ask if I had the youth size, something about the adult being too big. There is saying, "when you don't know who the sucker is in a room, it's usually you." Man was I ever. All the negotiation classes in the world wouldn't have prepared me for a drunken negotiation, taking place in a men's bathroom over a $1 bracelet. Sometimes truth is crazier than fiction. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.