Karma?
"Do I believe in karma," N. asked me? It is was an interesting question, posed at an even more interesting time. Truth be told I'm not really sure why she asked the question in the first place. At that moment we were only strolling together on the sidewalk, I hadn't told someone off in at least 4 hours or made a tasteless joke at someone's expense or ignored someone for being stupid. Yet it was asked.
I never know to what to answer to a spiritual or religious question. For starters I'm not sure that's anyone's business just like whether I plan on voting for Bloomberg or the other guy. Well that's a bad example since I can't even tell you the other guy's name. I have long abandoned organized religion and the belief in higher power, which some may call God. While I am not alone in either of those sentiments I think people aren't ready to hear that from another individual, especially one you are just getting to know. The reason being is many people associate a lack of belief in religion and god in an overall lack of belief. Personally, I don't think a belief in a god or a religion is synonomous with not believing in anything, but how does one convey that sentiment in what simply is a yes or no answer. So I was on the spot. Did I believe in karma? For the sake of getting onto another topic quickly, like why we couldn't find one pint of gelato on the entire Upper East Side, I said, "Yes."
What person wants to hear someone has no faith? That's dating suicide. If he doesn't believe in so and so, how will he ever have faith in our relationship. There's no answer to that question other than I guess one just has to have faith in people. While I answered the question quite quickly and convincingly, I jolted back to a conversation I had only had the other day.
If you read this blog and I know I have been devoting less and less attention to it, you will know that I got a new job. I couldn't be happier. When I called to tell my parents the fantastic news from a conference room my father answered the phone. I told him all about it and it was evident to him that I could have lit up a cave hundreds of feet underground from the tone in my voice. After going through some of the finer points of the offer he asked if I remembered a conversation we had months if not years ago. It was one of the rare times I'd seen my father openly weep. To paraphrase he said, "I may not have been the greatest dad and at times couldn't deal with everything you were going through, but deep down I know you are going to make it. If I could cut off my arm, do anything for that matter just so you can get a break in life, I'd gladly give me life to see you achieve everything you were meant to. Son, you got dealt a bad hand, but one day you'll overcome the odds and be dealt a winner. " I quickly told him of course I remembered, fighting back tears much like I have been doing for the last 15 minutes while writing this paragraph.
Tuesday, I was dealt that winner. For month's I have mentioned how wonderful my life has been, aside from not being employed in a job that could ultimately become a career. Though never spoken I had often given myself till the age of 25 to get my life in order. This included a job I enjoyed and where I felt my talents could best be served, living independently and all around becoming an adult who was self sufficient. Well things are coming together. I have recently begun redecorating my apartment away from Ikea chic to plain chic. I have surrounded myself with a group of friends and family that I couldn't imagine not being in my life. The corners to the puzzle are all together and most of the pieces are in the proper place. Just one's missing, someone to put the puzzle together with.
So do I believe in karma? If karma also goes by Jarrad, than yes, because when the chips are down, there is no one I believe in more than myself.
I never know to what to answer to a spiritual or religious question. For starters I'm not sure that's anyone's business just like whether I plan on voting for Bloomberg or the other guy. Well that's a bad example since I can't even tell you the other guy's name. I have long abandoned organized religion and the belief in higher power, which some may call God. While I am not alone in either of those sentiments I think people aren't ready to hear that from another individual, especially one you are just getting to know. The reason being is many people associate a lack of belief in religion and god in an overall lack of belief. Personally, I don't think a belief in a god or a religion is synonomous with not believing in anything, but how does one convey that sentiment in what simply is a yes or no answer. So I was on the spot. Did I believe in karma? For the sake of getting onto another topic quickly, like why we couldn't find one pint of gelato on the entire Upper East Side, I said, "Yes."
What person wants to hear someone has no faith? That's dating suicide. If he doesn't believe in so and so, how will he ever have faith in our relationship. There's no answer to that question other than I guess one just has to have faith in people. While I answered the question quite quickly and convincingly, I jolted back to a conversation I had only had the other day.
If you read this blog and I know I have been devoting less and less attention to it, you will know that I got a new job. I couldn't be happier. When I called to tell my parents the fantastic news from a conference room my father answered the phone. I told him all about it and it was evident to him that I could have lit up a cave hundreds of feet underground from the tone in my voice. After going through some of the finer points of the offer he asked if I remembered a conversation we had months if not years ago. It was one of the rare times I'd seen my father openly weep. To paraphrase he said, "I may not have been the greatest dad and at times couldn't deal with everything you were going through, but deep down I know you are going to make it. If I could cut off my arm, do anything for that matter just so you can get a break in life, I'd gladly give me life to see you achieve everything you were meant to. Son, you got dealt a bad hand, but one day you'll overcome the odds and be dealt a winner. " I quickly told him of course I remembered, fighting back tears much like I have been doing for the last 15 minutes while writing this paragraph.
Tuesday, I was dealt that winner. For month's I have mentioned how wonderful my life has been, aside from not being employed in a job that could ultimately become a career. Though never spoken I had often given myself till the age of 25 to get my life in order. This included a job I enjoyed and where I felt my talents could best be served, living independently and all around becoming an adult who was self sufficient. Well things are coming together. I have recently begun redecorating my apartment away from Ikea chic to plain chic. I have surrounded myself with a group of friends and family that I couldn't imagine not being in my life. The corners to the puzzle are all together and most of the pieces are in the proper place. Just one's missing, someone to put the puzzle together with.
So do I believe in karma? If karma also goes by Jarrad, than yes, because when the chips are down, there is no one I believe in more than myself.
posted by AristocraCity at 6:31 PM
3 Comments:
There's nothing better for you to believe in that yourself, and it seems to be serving you well. Congrats!
Jarrad! This post is amazing. First of all, you had me in tears, too. That is an incredible thing your dad said to you, and I think you keep proving over and over again that you are a winner. It's overcoming obstacles that make you a stronger person, and you are a very strong person indeed! Congrats!
It's wonderful to hear you are redecorating your apartment. I redecorated my houston apartment and it turned out great. I wish you the best of luck with your apartment.
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